More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
Printable View
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
PS. most of the recent ones are coming off of other websites. I'm not posting all of them, just the ones I agree with. Also, this is my formal concession that I am not the original architect of these musings. All of the copied and pasted musings will now be in bold.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know"
feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose
not to be friends with?
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically
fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all
know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...(like hendersonhands)
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words,
someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think
about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people
eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by
myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard
before dinner.
I want some Tech pint glasses for fancy, special occasions.
I think I've become a fan of Graham Greene's fiction.
Loved him in Dances with Wolves! Nothing like the strong, silent Native America type to get your honey feelin' the love. But did you know he's actually Canadian?
Seriously --
The Power and the Glory was one of my favorite selections of required summer reading in HS.
I saw someone today wearing cowboy boots, jean shorts, and a wife beater, lighting fireworks with what appered to be a cigarette with his two young boys while drinking a beer all in the broad daylight. It is April 21st.... did I miss the memo where today was a holiday?