Nunes.
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Nunes.
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Originally Posted by TYLERTECHSAS
So true.
> > I bought a new Ford F350 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. It'll run on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.
> > Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service
> > technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.
> >
> > ‘Nelson', the technician said to the radio.
> >
> > The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'
> > 'Willie!' he continued, and 'On The Road Again’ came from the speakers. Then he said, 'Ray Charles!',
> > and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind'replaced Willie Nelson.
> >
> > I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven',I'd get beautiful
> > classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles', I'd get one of their awesome songs.
> >
> > Well, yesterday, some old lady ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I
> > swerved in time to avoid her.
> >
> > I yelled, 'You Crazy Bitch!' Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Democratic
> > Leader and former speaker of the House....Nancy Pelosi"
> >
> > Damn, I love this truck.
Samsonite! I was way off!
VERY INTERESTING.
Bats
This is very timely: the latest newsletter from The Texas Gardener' Seeds said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures. Here are three from the Bat Family ..... without the need for resorting to fiction.
https://outlook.office.com/owa/servi...gePreview=True
Sucker-footed Bat
https://outlook.office.com/owa/servi...gePreview=True
Red-Winged Fruit Bat
https://outlook.office.com/owa/servi...gePreview=True
Left-Winged Ding Bat
So 2 out 3 Bats have a useful purpose!
Unfortunately not a joke.
I made a snowman.
8:00 - I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man-woman-person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 - The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse.
10:15 - So, I built two snowmen, dressed them as US Army soldiers, planted an American flag, and armed them with a .50-caliber machine gun.
10:25 - All the protestors "melted" away.
Cheatlejuice :laugh:
https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...53&oe=5C6F9111
:laugh:
:laugh: Nice!
The first Native American and African American ticket. PerfectQuote:
Originally Posted by SicemDawgz