Is it time for Aggie jokes yet?

[70TECHGRAD]

Why does the Aggie Corps wear uniforms made out of polyester?
There'sno virgin wool within a hundred miles of College Station.

Did you hear about the Aggie at the stop sign? Well, he's still there.


Did you hear that the A&M library had to close down this year?
Somebody stole the book. That'snot all... when it was returned it was all colored in.

Did you hear about the Cessna airplane that crashed in a cemetery in College Station recently?
Aggie search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and are still digging.

[70TECHGRAD]

Then, there was the Aggie that was hunting in the woods. He happened upon this beautiful woman lying naked in the grass. He asked her, "Are you game?" The woman said "yes."
So he shot her.


Did you hear that Detroit was going to start putting the dimmer switch back on the floor in its new cars?
The Aggies kept getting their foot caught in the steering wheel.

Why are rectal thermometers banned in College Station?
They cause too much brain damage.

[70TECHGRAD]

What did the A&M graduate say to the LA TECH graduate upon meeting?
Hi! Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?


Some Aggies were trying to scare the LA TECH football team before the game and threw firecrackers into the locker room windows.
The TECH Bulldawgs lit them and threw them back!

[70TECHGRAD]

Two Aggies go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One Aggie turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other Aggie says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch anymore!"

[GonzoDawg]

How did the aggie die raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

Two aggies signed up for classes and found out they had to take something called logic. Not knowing what this was they both went to see their adviser. The 1st one goes in and asks what's logic. The adviser says I'll explain it to you. Do you own a weed eater? I do says the aggie. The adviser says good good, then logic tell us that you have a lawn. I do says the aggie, go on. Well says the adviser then logic tell us that since you have a lawn you probably live in a house. I do says the aggie this is amazing. The advisor says well since you own an house logic tells us you are probably married. I am says the aggie, me and Darline still goin' strong. So the adviser says well then logic tells us that since you are married you are probably a heterosexual. I am screams the aggie, this is amazing. I can't wait for this class. He goes outside and his buddy says did he explain it to you. The aggies says yeah let me show you. Do you own a weed eater? his buddy say naw. The aggies says "you're gay".

[B.Y.O.C.B.]

A professor at Texas A&M was giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you, who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.
Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hands.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says,
"Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.

You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big Texas redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,
"So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Bubba replied, "Shiiiiit! , from way back there I thought you said, Goats."

[HokieDawg]

An Aggie girl is riding down the road in her car. As she turns the corner she sees a girl in a Louisiana Tech shirt walking back and forth on the railroad tracks. The Aggie girl can't figure out what the Tech girl is doing so she pulls over and walks up to the railroad tracks. As she gets closer she heres the Tech girl saying 21,21,21, as she walks back and forth. the Aggie girl is really curious by now so she steps on the railroad tracks behind the Tech girl and follows her back and forth saying 21,21,21. About that time a train comes around the bend and the Tech girl steps off of the tracks letting the train hit the Aggie girl. After the train passes the Tech girl gets back on the tracks and starts pacing back and forth saying 22,22,22........

[RougeDawg]

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig?


He's the one throwing bread to the helicopter.

[70TECHGRAD]

How can you tell an Aggie is on location at a drilling rig?


He's the one throwing bread to the helicopter.

He is also the one that keeps falling off.

[aan]

A young Aggie couple were out riding around the night before their wedding. The young man looks at his bride to be and says " Why don't we find a nice quiet place to park and have a little fun?' The Aggie girl looks at her fiance' and says "Darling we can't, I'm saving myself for our wedding night." The young Aggie man becomes very upset and drives the Aggie girl home and leaves in a rage. When he gets home he storms in the house and annouces to his family 'The weddings off!". His father inquires, "Why son, what happened?" The Aggie boy replies, "I just found out she's a virgin!", to which his father asks, "What's wrong with that?" The Aggie boy replies, "Hell dad if she aint good enough for her own family what makes her good enough for ours?"

This joke applies a whole lot better to Arkansas fans, still a good one

[Dawgbert]

An Aggie and his wife went to a marriage counselor. The counselor took the wife aside and asked what her problem was. She said her husband always wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve and would never let her get on top.
So the counselor took the husband aside and asked him about his wife's concerns. He responded that at the commencement address the president of Texas A&M had two pieces of advice. He said since so many people made jokes about Aggies that to uphold the honor of the university they should always keep and their noses clean and, whatever they did, never ever f*#k up.

[Bill Pup60]

Did you hear about the Aggie driving in the Indy 500?

Made 43 pit stops................

4 for tires and gas and 39 for directions..........

[Bill Pup60]

Lady makes visit to construction site where she is having a very nice new home built which is nearing completion. She is meeting contractor to finalize paint selection for the upstairs bedrooms. They go in the MBR and she says "In here I want a very soft and pale pink". He says OK, makes a note on his clipboard and then walks over to a window and yells down "Green side up." They move on to BR2 and she says "In here I want a very pale yellow." He says OK, makes his note on the clipboard and then walks over to the window and shouts out "Green side up." Same thing occurs in BR3. Finally, the lady, is desperation, says "Enough of this, I'm paying you plenty to make this house just like I want it. I DO NOT want all these rooms green.

Contractor says, "Oh I'm sorry. You misunderstood what I was doing. The reason I was yelling "Green side up" is I've got a bunch of Texas Aggie students working down below to lay your sod!

[Bill Pup60]

Did you hear about the big new breakthrough in the Computer Science Department at Texas A&M? They've invented a new hardware breakthrough.

It's the new Aggie WOM. (Write Only Memory).

[Bill Pup60]

How many Aggies does it take to pop popcorn? Five! One to hold the skillet and four to shake the stove..........