If you're reading this on Christmas Day... (II)

[BruisedOrange]

...well, Merry Christmas!

And if you're reading this at 4:15 AM EST... well, Merry Christmas champion110!

Last Christmas my wife and I were unable to be with our loved ones (other than each other) and it occurred to me that anyone else checking the forum on Christmas Day might not be having the Christmas Day of their first choice either. (Or the kids are yelling in the other room.)

So like last year, use this thread for posting whatever--your situation, great memories, best wishes, what you watch on Christmas Day, or even rants--'cause it's just us. Strangers/friends with mostly canine nom de plumes who probably have more in common than just our desire to see the Lady Techsters write their own resurrection story.

[NOTE: Please don't let my subsequent post set a singular tone for whatever anyone wants to write, remember, or laugh about. Life goes on.]

[BruisedOrange]

There was a poignant moment in last year's thread that gave perspective to Christmas and more when BuzDawg73 posted:

Well, I guess I am one of the people reading this on Christmas Day. A few weeks ago I lost my partner of 36 years to an unexpected illness. I really just want this day to end, but am anxious to see my Dawgs beat up on the Illini tomorrow. Enjoy and cherish your Christmas with your loved ones.

So sorry to hear, BuzDawg73. Thank you for taking the time to say something so personal that gives perspective to each reader's life. Your reminder is well-received.

Glad you had someone in your life for 36 years who is worth missing.

What irony that two weeks ago it was my wife's body which succumbed to cancer diagnosed in the spring. Insurance actuary tables can tell us how many--but never who. I'm glad I followed BuzDawg73's advice and cherished each moment with my remarkable lady. Thank you BuzDawg for having the courage to post that last year.

If y'all will allow me the briefest departure from multi-cultural ettiquete, this is my wife's simple testimony:

At 7:08 PM [when she died] she stood before God, forgiven and accepted--not on the basis of her good deeds (which were many) nor her own goodness (which was remarkable), but--solely by the righteousness of Jesus Christ, credited to her by faith.

All is well in this house. Posting here has given me pleasant breaks from all the necessary details following her death, as well as brief moments of refreshing normalcy during her illness while she slept. Good to be among friends.
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Now Beaver-Dog... did you ever try that "cajun" hot chocolate last year?

[maverick]

Blessings to you BruisedOrange, and true sorrow for your loss. But there is rejoicing and true blessing for your lady! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[champion110]

MeRRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

[champion110]

So sorry to hear of those of you that have lost someone dear to you. I have suffered that same type of loss and there is nothing words can do to heal. I hope you all know that we are family here, though, and my thoughts are with you. May you find a little peace in that.

[dawg80]

Sorry to hear of your loss. And to everyone dealing with an empty chair at the dinner table, prayers of understanding and strength to you. But, just as today is the BIRTHDAY of our Savior, it's also a new day for us all.

We have lost two children, a daughter (18) in a car wreck, and a son (30) murdered by some thug. There will forever be a void in my life, in my heart. But, as we get ready (any moment now!) to celebrate Christmas morning, we do so with two granddaughters for whom this is their very first Christmas. They are too young to fully appreciate it, but we aren't!

We still have two children, who have lost siblings, and who need us to be strong for them. And we have FOUR grandkids too!

I cannot imagine losing a spouse. Losing kids will rip your heart out, that I do know. But my wife is also my BEST FRIEND, and we lean on each other....when we need it. I guess what I'm trying to say, and I'm not doing a good job of it, is "life goes on." For us, we choose to not focus so much on who is not here, but rather on who is here, and who needs us to be strong and be there for them.

Hmmmm....strange forum to post a thread like this. But, anyway, Merry Christmas to all! I pray you find "that something" that helps you cope with adversity in your life.

"Lean not on your own understanding....but, trust in God."

[OLDBLUE]

God "wrest ye" merry, gentlemen ... - I was told this isn't about "rest", but that God "wrestles" us out of all evil so we need dismay nothing (... let nothing ye dismay...), since the Savior was born on Christmas day. (Also notice the comma after merry)
That old carol can speak to you if you can listen. All the difficulty that happens in our temporal existence is nothing compared to the peace we can find by faith in Him.

May that reality be your, and your loved one's Christmas gift, no, blessing today.

[BruisedOrange]

And dawg80, I can't imagine being in your shoes! My wife and I had 8 months together, knowing how (if not when) it would end. Your children were just taken--gone, with (I'm guessing) no chance for y'all to communicate, to say goodbye. You've also had to deal with knowing there's someone to blame--I can't imagine me handling that without bitterness and an insane desire for retribution.

Yes, God's grace has been sufficient for me in my situation, and it would have been sufficient if I had been in yours. But I don't think I would have wanted His grace, at least not for a long time.

My heart goes out to you (and your wife and two children), and I appreciate your wisdom. The grieving goes on, but so does life, and the joys of investing in other people's lives are still available to us.

I wish you such a merry Christmas, dawg80, that you have neither the chance nor desire to read this until the 26th!
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[and just to keep this thread from being moved...] "Only survivors get to cheer for the Lady Techsters!" (True, but probably not the best thing to put on a T-shirt)

[techman05]

May the Lord comfort each of you. God bless all my bulldog brothers and sisters.

[DJDAWG]

Thank you both so much for your testimonies. The Faithfulness of our Lord is truly life filling, comforting, full of hope and joy. We can, with 100% confidence, know that we will have a future with all of our loved ones due to our Savior and his supernatural Love for us.


I know this is not the right place to write this but I can't help it:

I've been studying Christian Apologetics lately, with respect to Islam. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy5H0uunC2qMk0iOF4SHKUw

The story of Nabeel Qureshi, "Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus", is easily one of the best books I have ever read, could NOT put it down.

Reading the Qur'an and the Hadiths are very eye opening. Comparing Islamic writings to the Gospel makes the Gospel and Jesus shine so much more.
Believe it or not, but, my Faith in Jesus has been very much enhanced by comparing the Gospels with the Qur'an.
It is very obvious that Muhammad was nothing more than a very very successful cult leader.


Merry Christmas.
Thank you Lord Jesus simply for being you, for being our King and for truly being.

[BlindDog]

Thanks for sharing folks!
I admit the reason for moving to South Florida was to get away from some unpleasant experiences in my life!
The loss of a loved one is difficult, and choices seem difficult at the time...But, it's our FAITH, that can prevail for us all!
Merry Christmas!

[BuzDawg73]

BruisedOrange, I am so sorry for your loss. It is a very hard thing. Dawg 80, I can't begin to understand what you have endured.

I read this thread this morning, but did not comment because I wanted to offer some comfort and wisdom after going through this last year. Truth is I don't know that I have learned any wisdom from the experience. Grief seems to be an extremely personal thing.

It has been a hard year, and I have spent most of it being an emotional mess. I think I was in some kind of shock from the unexpected death of my partner. There has been an ocean of tears shed, but thank goodness I finally have been able to get myself under control and stop crying all over the place. It can be very embarrassing to start crying while you are standing in line at Walmart, or the bank or the grocery store. I will say it is a great way to get them to open a new line for you. (I am pretty sure they think it is a bad reflection on their store.)

It is hard being alone. It is hard to feel so vulnerable. I have kept myself extremely busy, but the nights can sometimes be brutal. I used to be a real night owl, but now I go to bed much earlier just to get the evening over. I made all these big decisions that you are not supposed to do for the first year. I sold our home and downsized into a much smaller place, including making decisions on a lot of possessions. I lost a pretty good amount of money doing what I did, but I don't care because I just could not remain in that house we had shared for so many years.

However, here is what little I have learned so far from this experience. Your empathy for others increases. You learn that finding a new purpose in life and finding new joy is up to you. I am soon to be 65. The years that remain for me could be dreary if I allow it. But, I am not going to do that. I will find purpose and joy by extending myself to others. I admit I haven't figured out how yet, but I am certain this is the answer. Volunteering, community involvement and just making new friends will be what ultimately brings back my happiness. You have to want to move on.

I went to a spousal grief support group a few months ago. I was shocked at how long the people had been attending the group. Years! They were still crying their eyes out, and it scared me that maybe you never move on from this. I never went back. I know there will always be a hole in my heart, but I saw that group as an emotional trap. Again, I think you have to want to move on. ( I also think you have give yourself permission to move on, and not think it is a betrayal. That betrayal thing is definitely a real feeling.)

So, I know I am rambling. It happens when you are alone a lot. And, it should be clear that no one will be seeking me out for expert grief counseling. It is all such a personal journey anyway. But, if it is any comfort, I truly feel for you losses, and hope that you find just that--hope.