Waterhead writes something funny!

[Dawgbitten]

Tigers vs. Cajuns: On your marks ... get set ... Geaux!

By CARL DUBOIS
cdubois@theadvocate.com
Advocate sportswriter

Boudreaux, wearing University of Louisiana at Lafayette colors, passes tailgating LSU fans outside Tiger Stadium around noon on Oct. 5, 2002. An LSU fan we'll call Al, wearing a "Geaux Tigers" T-shirt and mixing jambalaya with a big spoon, decides to really stir the pot. ...

LSU Al: "Tiger bait! Tiger bait!"

Boudreaux: "Mais, non! You know you stole the French spelling of Geaux from us Ragin' Cajuns."

Al: "Aww, want some jambalaya with that whine?"

Boudreaux: "No, I don't want no food from no LSU fan. I bet your mama makes gumbo with store-bought roux."

Al: "Ha! I heard a ULL fan ask for a Nutria-Grain bar at a Circle K."

Boudreaux: "ULL? Why do LSU fans stutter? Why do you add that extra 'L' to our name? We're UL."

Al: "Oooh la la ... University of Louisville? That's UL."

Boudreaux: "You know we're the University of Louisiana. LSU fought it, but that's our name."

Al: "Yeah, UL -- at Lafayette. Have you seen your Web site, www.ull.edu? Does your Webmaster stutter too, or was he trying to type USL and missed?"

Boudreaux: "Kiss our 'S' goodbye. We're UL. Deal with it."

Al: "When I was growing up you were the Southwestern Louisiana Institute Bulldogs. Then you begged people to call you the University of Southwestern Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns. Now it's Louisiana-Lafayette, and you want to be Louisiana's Ragin' Cajuns. Why are you never happy with your name?"

Boudreaux: "You've changed names. Why don't you call yourself LSUA&M-BR? That's what you are."

Al: "Heck, even Jay Walker, your radio announcer, changed his name. What is it with you guys?"

Boudreaux: "Hey, every major street in Baton Rouge changes names every couple of blocks. You've got no room to talk, Mr. LSUA&M-BR."

Al: "LSU! LSU! LSU!"

Boudreaux: "Speaking of your history, your first president burned Atlanta during the Civil War. Fine example. Now I know why your fans act the way they do at games."

Al: "At least we have fans at the games. How many ULL fans went to Cajun Field last year disguised as empty seats? Geaux, Tigers!"

Boudreaux: "Oh, and back to that Geaux nonsense ... Baton Rouge is as Cajun as Houston, so please drop the French spellings."

Al: "Baton Rouge? Red Stick?" Sounds pretty French to me."

Boudreaux: "We're true Cajuns. Wave that Red Stick, but Acadiana is the heart of Cajun country. The rest of the state makes fun of us, but y'all latch on to our Cajun heritage when Yankees think it's cool."

Al: "You're right. You are different from the rest of the state. Your name should reflect that and set you apart. How about -- oh, I don't know -- University of Southwestern Louisiana???"

Boudreaux: "You ripped off Geaux from us. You stole funds from us during World War II. You stole Yvette Girouard from us. You make fun of us, but when we get something good you try to take it. You're afraid we'll catch up with you and pass you. You're paranoid."

Al: "You know how to spot a well-balanced ULL fan? He's got a chip on both shoulders."

Boudreaux: "See that cage there for Mike the Tiger? You built that with funds that were supposed to go to other state schools, including us."

Al: "Don't get moral. You stole the name 'The Swamp' from Florida."

Boudreaux: "You stole 'Death Valley' from Clemson."

Al: "Get real. LSU fans know that fans at a college football game anywhere else but Tiger Stadium are, in some sense, kidding. We know the real Death Valley, and soon you will too."

Boudreaux: "LSU fans have an inflated view of their place in college football. Tiger Stadium is a big outdoors bar. Nothing more."

Al: "Well, tonight our 22 bouncers will show you the door long before halftime. I can't even understand why we're playing you. You don't belong on the same field with us."

Boudreaux: "Is that why you won't play us anymore in baseball and softball? We start beating you and you cancel."

Al: "You know why we dropped you. Besides, don't accuse us of big-timing you when you dropped McNeese State after they whipped your butts regularly in football."

Boudreaux: "Taking up for the cow college, huh? Sounds like you aggie boys all stick together."

Al: "Look, make fun of our game-day atmosphere all you want, but we take pride in knowing how to party. We invented tailgating."

Boudreaux: "We perfected it."

Al: "We were voted No. 1 party school in the nation many times."

Boudreaux: "Yeah, and your kids flunk out because of the partying."

Al: "We've got better academics here, and you know it."

Boudreaux: "Ha! LSU tries to hire our professors all the time, but they're smart -- they stay with us."

Al: "Our tutors are better than your professors."

Boudreaux: "Yeah, look what they did for your football team. Can you win without trying to cheat?"

Al: "Careful. You remember your men's basketball team getting the death penalty in the '70s?"

Boudreaux: "Better that than the mercy killing of your team in Dale Brown's last years. Besides, all he did was make sure the NCAA would always be checking you guys out -- and with good reason, I'd say."

Al: "Well, if you're so smart, what is your degree in?"

(Brief silence)

Boudreaux: "What's yours in?"

(More silence)

Al: "Did you even go to ULL?"

Boudreaux: "Did you go to LSU?"

(Long pause)

Al: "How 'bout them Saints?"

Boudreaux: "I knew they'd blow one. They get your hopes up and break your heart. Been that way for 30 years. They're an embarrassment to this state."

Al: "You talk about."

[inudesu]

After a rough week for the dogs, that was a much needed laugh.

[TYLERTECHSAS]

Thanks DAWGBITTEN! That was great!

[Gooddawg]

That was Hilarious! Post it on the boards of tigger fans and cajuns!

[yobrefstank]

Thanks for the laugh. Read the post 10 min. ago and am still rolling.

[Tech77]

It was good, but inaccurate. The LSU fan and the ULL fan probably both went to the same school -- USL. Either that or the LSU fan scraped through high school and went straight to work in a chemical plant.

[macp38]

That was a hoot!