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Thread: "I pray for an America where rosary beads are sold in a

  1. #1
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    March 30, 2004
    Kerry Calls Pope's Abortion Stance 'Not Nuanced' By Scott Ott


    The strict anti-abortion stance of Pope John Paul II is "tragically not nuanced," according to U.S. Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry, a practicing Roman Catholic.

    "I pray for an America where rosary beads are sold in abortion clinic gift shops," said Mr. Kerry. "But I won't be a Catholic president, or even, as John F. Kennedy called himself, 'a president who happens to be Catholic'. I will be a president who happens to say he is Catholic but doesn't feel constrained by the black-and-white teachings of a church which is the bedrock of values, of sureness about who I am."

    Mr. Kerry made the remarks as he left Sunday Mass at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Flexible Doctrine.

    "I dream of a nation that honors people who understand the difference between personal beliefs and public actions," said Mr. Kerry, who just last week hurried back to the Senate chambers to vote against a bill that makes harming a fetus a criminal offense. "All during that Senate vote, I was meditating on the rosary...you know, quietly repeating 'Hail Marys' and 'Our Fathers,' etcetera, etcetera, ad infinitum."

    If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

    John Hawkins

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    Champ weunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud ofweunice has much to be proud of weunice's Avatar
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    Tyler, I know you are not Catholic but you will get a kick out of this ... from a Catholic humor blog.



    His blog is pretty funny if you want an orthodox Catholic bent on current issues ...
    http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/

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    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Interesting site. Thanks for posting the item above. Very sad but true of course.

  4. #4
    Big Dog DCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really niceDCDAWG is just really nice DCDAWG's Avatar
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    Side-splitting stuff there, guys. I'm still L-ingOL. Here's some more "funny" news from The Onion:

    WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush proposed a $2.4 trillion election-year budget Monday that would boost defense spending, redistribute funds among government programs, and cross out the $477 billion deficit entirely.

    "Nobody likes making cuts, but the nation's current rate of spending and the decreased tax revenues we've seen since implementing my tax cuts have created a deficit that we can't afford to carry," Bush said in a nationally televised address. "Someone had to have the vision, leadership, and courage to go in and erase that line altogether, no matter how unpopular and impossible that may be."

    According to the Congressional Budget Office, the $477 billion deficit is the country's largest ever, easily topping the previous record of $290 billion in 1992. If the budget is approved, however, the deficit will roll down to $0.0 billion.

    In the past, critics have accused the Bush Administration of responding to a mounting deficit and the ongoing recession with unsound fiscal policies like cutting taxes for the wealthy. Bush supporters say the deficit cut proves the wisdom of the president's economic plan.

    "Bush has taken a brave step, one that was long overdue," Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) said. "He has taken charge of the budget problem once and for all, simply by saying 'The deficit stops here.'"

    Faced with the difficult choice of either cutting government programs or raising taxes, Bush reportedly arrived at the radical new "deficit-cutting" solution late Sunday night, only hours before he was to announce his budget.

    "I was staring at the figure for the deficit, and I decided that it simply could not stand," Bush said. "It was too high. Something had to be done. But Americans have been taxed and taxed. I say 'Enough taxes.' By my estimation, this historical crossing-out of the deficit will save American taxpayers millions, billions, and perhaps even bajillions of dollars."

    The president then turned to Section 14-D of the official budget document, where the federal government's total expenditures, the GNP, and the difference between the two were listed. Using a black Sharpie, the president crossed out the third figure, eliminating it entirely.

    Bush then held up the newly marked-up page and said, "My fellow Americans, I have solved the federal budget crisis."

    The budget is expected to pass through the GOP-controlled Congress with little or no opposition.


    "I don't know why I didn't have this idea before," Bush said. "For years, we have tried to control the deficit by eliminating federal programs, lowering taxes for the rich, sending out checks to everybody, and God knows what else. None of us once thought to just draw a line through it."

    The Bush plan is not without critics.

    "President Bush drew a line through the deficit, yes, and we commend him for that," Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) said. "But that doesn't solve the country's budgetary problems. While he was at it, why didn't he add several zeroes to the end of our GNP?"

    Political pundits have been largely impressed by the visionary slash.

    "Opinions vary as to what the long-term effects of the deficit cut will be," New York Times columnist Paul Krugman said. "One thing, however, is certain: The growing federal deficit, a Gordian knot that for three years no amount of cutting taxes and spending money could unravel, has been sliced in two by the president's bold, radical new take on the problem."

    A CNN/Gallup poll taken immediately after the president's announcement showed that 67 percent of Americans support his decision to draw a black line through the deficit, and thereby eliminate it.

    "I'm tired of the tax-and-spend Democrats always talking about adding zeroes to the GNP," said Henry Strom, 40, of Bakersfield, CA. "How about we cross out our debts and get our affairs in order before we start adding zeroes? We need to cut this deficit and stand firm against printing deficits in future budgets, as well."

    According to Bush's political advisors, later this week, the president will declare that the U.S. has universal health care.

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