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Thread: Paw-Litical Jokes

  1. #241
    Dawg Adamant Argument Czar Guisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond reputeGuisslapp has a reputation beyond repute Guisslapp's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Nunes.

  2. #242
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by TYLERTECHSAS View Post
    The Difference


    If someone asks you what the difference is between most of the

    Obama/Hillary/Bernie supporters and most of the Trump supporters,



    instead of stammering and stuttering and trying to come up with a long

    answer, just tell them...



    The Trump supporters sign their checks on the front, and the Obama

    supporters sign their checks on the back.



    I NEVER REALIZED THAT IT WAS THIS Simple!
    Bump

  3. #243
    Champ dawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond repute dawg80's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    So true.

  4. #244
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    > > I bought a new Ford F350 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. It'll run on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.
    > > Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work. The service
    > > technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.
    > >
    > > ‘Nelson', the technician said to the radio.
    > >
    > > The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

    > > 'Willie!' he continued, and 'On The Road Again’ came from the speakers. Then he said, 'Ray Charles!',
    > > and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind'replaced Willie Nelson.
    > >
    > > I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, 'Beethoven',I'd get beautiful
    > > classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles', I'd get one of their awesome songs.
    > >
    > > Well, yesterday, some old lady ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I
    > > swerved in time to avoid her.
    > >
    > > I yelled, 'You Crazy Bitch!' Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Democratic
    > > Leader and former speaker of the House....Nancy Pelosi"
    > >
    > > Damn, I love this truck.

  5. #245

  6. #246
    Champ techman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond reputetechman05 has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Samsonite! I was way off!

  7. #247
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    VERY INTERESTING.
    Bats





    This is very timely: the latest newsletter from The Texas Gardener' Seeds said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of forests.Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and astonishing creatures. Here are three from the Bat Family ..... without the need for resorting to fiction.




    Sucker-footed Bat





    Red-Winged Fruit Bat



    Left-Winged Ding Bat


    So 2 out 3 Bats have a useful purpose!



  8. #248
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Unfortunately not a joke.

    I made a snowman.

    8:00 - I made a snowman.
    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
    8:22 - The transgender man-woman-person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
    8:28 - I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
    8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
    8:40 - The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
    8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
    8:45 - TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
    9:00 - I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
    9:10 - I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
    Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse.









  9. #249
    Champ dawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond reputedawg80 has a reputation beyond repute dawg80's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    10:15 - So, I built two snowmen, dressed them as US Army soldiers, planted an American flag, and armed them with a .50-caliber machine gun.

    10:25 - All the protestors "melted" away.

  10. #250
    Champ GonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond reputeGonzoDawg has a reputation beyond repute GonzoDawg's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Cheatlejuice

  11. #251
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes


  12. #252
    Champ saltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your timesaltydawg Ultimate jerk and not worth your time saltydawg's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes


    "All roads lead to Putin" -- Thomas Jefferson



  13. #253
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Nice!

  14. #254
    Champ SicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond reputeSicemDawgz has a reputation beyond repute SicemDawgz's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes


  15. #255
    Champ skilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond reputeskilldawg has a reputation beyond repute skilldawg's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by SicemDawgz View Post
    The first Native American and African American ticket. Perfect

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