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Thread: Paw-Litical Jokes

  1. #16
    Champ hoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond reputehoppinmad has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Yup, I think I see a child like that in your future. ...for that remark.

  2. #17
    Champ beaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your time
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    lol hey i warned you it was bad. It was actually told to me by my extremely Republican brother. And hopefully at my age I am done having children. But no i wouldn't wish that on anyone.

  3. #18
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    I doubt that came from your extremely Republican brother. I wonder what that kid did to anybody? Anyway, thanks for reminding us that some things don't bear repeating.

  4. #19
    Champ beaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your timebeaux66 Ultimate jerk and not worth your time
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    oh yes it came from him and yes he also has a slew of monkey jokes black jokes, you name it. that is the danger of a thread like this is there is going to be someone like you with absolutely no sense of humor that can't lighten up as the original poster asked of us. Instead we get stuck in the mud judgemental bs from people like you..

  5. #20
    Champ TYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond reputeTYLERTECHSAS has a reputation beyond repute TYLERTECHSAS's Avatar
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Obama went duck hunting in Alaska.


    He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into Sarah Palin's field on the
    other side of her fence.


    As Obama climbed over the fence, Sarah drove up on her tractor and
    asked him what he was doing.

    Obama responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell onto this field, and now I'm
    going to retrieve it.'


    Palin replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'

    The indignant Obama said, 'If you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you
    and take everything you own.'

    Palin smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes
    here. We settle small

    disagreements with the 'Three Kick Rule.''

    Obama asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule?'

    Sarah Palin replied , 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land , I get
    to go first .''I kick you three times and then you kick me three times
    and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'

    Obama quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could
    easily take a woman at this game. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    Sarah slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the Obama. Her
    first kick planted the toe of her steel toed work boot into Obama's groin
    and dropped him to his knees.

    Her second kick to the midriff sent the Obama's last meal gushing from his
    mouth.

    Obama was on all fours when her third kick to his rear end sent him
    face-first into a fresh cow pie.
    He summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his
    face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, Now it's my turn.'

    Palin smiled and said , 'Na, I give up. You can have the duck.'


    Experience wins again!



  6. #21
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    I wish that were funny but it was too long and just frankly not funny. Did you see the watermellon under the box being held up by a stick. Obama kidnapping attempt. Now that was funny. racist but funny

  7. #22
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    After the speech in Berlin , Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

    In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to give up his hopes to be president, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

    The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of
    brown liquid, gave it to Obama, and told him to drink it all.

    Obama drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bullshit!'

    The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low'.

  8. #23
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    WARNING FROM PAKISTAN

    This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan , Taliban Minister of
    Migration Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military actions
    against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities intend to cut off America's
    supply of Convenience Store Managers and possibly Motel 6 Managers..
    If this action does not yield sufficient results, Cab Drivers will be
    next, followed by DELL and AOL customer service reps.
    Finally, if all else fails, they have threatened to send us NO more
    candidates for President of the United States !
    It's gonna get ugly!!!

  9. #24
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Why did the chicken cross the road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!
    JOHN MC CAIN: My friend, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

  10. #25

  11. #26
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Is there a reason the chicken crossing the road joke is in here twice, or did someone just not see the first one?

  12. #27
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Looking for something to replace this:

    How about this:


  13. #28
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    It could be a miracle
    >>> > >
    >>> > > In a few short days, an African American man
    >>> will move
    >>> > > from his private residence into a much larger and
    >>> infinitely
    >>> > > more expensive one owned not by him but by the
    >>> taxpayers. A
    >>> > > vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well
    >>> trained security
    >>> > > specialists will insulate him from the rest of us
    >>> but the
    >>> > > mere fact that this man will be residing in this
    >>> house
    >>> > > should make us all stop and count our blessings -
    >>> because it
    >>> > > proves that we live in a nation where anything is
    >>> possible.
    >>> > > Many believed this day would never come. Most of
    >>> us hoped
    >>> > > and prayed that it would, but few of us actually
    >>> believed we
    >>> > > would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in
    >>> all of
    >>> > > it's forms and there is little doubt that if
    >>> this man
    >>> > > had moved into this house fifteen years ago,
    >>> there would
    >>> > > have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting
    >>> in the
    >>> > > streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and
    >>> proud that
    >>> > > no such mayhem will take place when this man
    >>> takes up
    >>> > > residency in this house. This man, moving into
    >>> this house
    >>> > > at this time in our nation's history is much
    >>> more than a
    >>> > > simple change of addresses for him - it is proof
    >>> of a change
    >>> > > in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of
    >>> sorts - the
    >>> > > righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our
    >>> growth, and
    >>> > > of our willingness to "judge a man, not by
    >>> the color of
    >>> > > his skin but by the content of his
    >>> character". There
    >>> > > can be little doubt now that the vast majority of
    >>> us truly
    >>> > > believe that this man has earned both his place
    >>> in history
    >>> > > and his new address.. His time in this house will
    >>> not be
    >>> > > easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will
    >>> face many
    >>> > > challenges. I am sure there will be many times
    >>> when he asks
    >>> > > himself how in the world he ended up here and
    >>> like all who
    >>> > > have gone before him, the experience will age him
    >>> greatly.
    >>> > > But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry
    >>> for his sake
    >>> > > - because in every way a man can, he asked for
    >>> this. His
    >>> > > whole life for the past fifteen years appears to
    >>> have been
    >>> > > inexorably leading this man toward this house. It
    >>> is highly
    >>> > > probable that in the past, despite all of his
    >>> actions,
    >>> > > racism would have kept this man out of this
    >>> house. Today, I
    >>> > > thank the lord above that I am an American and
    >>> that I live
    >>> > > in a nation where wrongs are righted, where
    >>> justice matters
    >>> > > and where truly anything is possible.
    >>> > >
    >>> > > Who is this man you ask. You think you know,
    >>> don't
    >>> > > you.
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > v
    >>> > > O.J. Simpson


  14. #29
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes


  15. #30
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    Re: Paw-Litical Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtydawg View Post
    Bob Hope = Great American

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