An archeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.
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An archeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.
Re: Paw-Litical Jokes
Excellent Find! +1
TD
~~
Originally Posted by champion110
I am less angry this morning and ready to get back up on the horse. That girl was a freak last night.
Originally Posted by champion110
In fact, I finally had to tell her to stop over the last weekend, because I was worn out and needed a break.
Hah, saw that earlier today Dawgtor.
here's a tasteless one:
there are a bunch of those
have so seen the "my XXXXX'S so hot" gif?
Originally Posted by champion110
I am less angry this morning and ready to get back up on the horse. That girl was a freak last night.
Originally Posted by champion110
In fact, I finally had to tell her to stop over the last weekend, because I was worn out and needed a break.
Link it up.. not sure.
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.
Originally Posted by mildawg
Counselors are standing by.
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=dztob9&s=4
Oh the IRONY. Please... keep the change. It would cost us less than Obamanomics.
Dear Citizens,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, I, President Obama have decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I, President Obama deem appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by me, President Obama.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have always prided myself on the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
President Obama
PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Obama presses USGA for major changes – don’t ever say he didn’t do something for you as a senior.
THE USGA HAS RESPONDED - There is a possibility of MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf, this may occur sometime after March 20, 2010.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written now.
Here are a few basic changes:
Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35% Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
- Above 18 will get a check from the club/course each time they play
The $ amount put in bets will be as follows:
- For handicaps below 10 an additional $10 Between 11 and 18 no additional amount
- Above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot even if you do not play.
The term "gimme" putt will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
- Handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to putt, just pick it up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie and/or six pars in any given round. Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that Player begin to count his par/birdies again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term 'net score' will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps 18 and above. This is intended to 'redistribute' the success of winning by making sure that in every competition, the above 18 handicap players will post only 'net score' against every other player's gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.
Golf must be about fairness.
It should have nothing to do with Ability.
Last edited by TYLERTECHSAS; 08-28-2009 at 05:25 PM.
Sometimes I wonder if your screen resolution is 640 x 480. Your posts seem to indicate that it might be.
luv ya anyway.
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