Time is your friend. Impulse is your enemy. -John Bogle
That guys been dead a while but I always thought his standup was really good.
Yeah, I was just going through some videos and I found this. I was a big fan.
Time is your friend. Impulse is your enemy. -John Bogle
"I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me."
"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something."
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semicircle."
"One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture of you is of when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' How'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera."
The worst thing about Mitch Hedberg is having that friend that constantly qoutes Mitch Hedberg.
We all know that guy. And none of us can STAND his ass.
He was a prime example of drugs making someone funny. He was flat when he wasn't high. He was flat for most of that special although that part was the better.
He was stoned out of his mind on Letterman a couple of times and great!
Here you go.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QljBEqzJN-M
Great quotes 9701Dawg.