Originally Posted by
dawg80
This fellow, Dave, was just certain his wife was cheating on him. They lived in a big city in a high rise apartment. He'd get home usually about 7PM after his long commute, and his wife, would have been home several hours by then. There were little signs around the apartment, like an empty beer can in the trash can. Oh, honey, that was yours from last night, she would insist. One day he had had enough. He decided to go home early and catch his wife cheating on him.
He burst into his apartment about 5PM, Ahah! where is he? Who? his wife asked. Dave was incensed, your lover, the fellow you are having an affair with! Not so! said his wife. Dave burst into the bedroom, looked in the closet, in the bathroom...nothing. He then noticed the window leading out to the fire escape was partially open. Oh! I see....he stepped outside and looks up and then down. And at the bottom of the stairs was a man just zipping up his pants. Caught ya! you home wrecker, I'll show you! In his anger he looked around for something to use as a weapon...oh, got it!
Dave is in line to enter Heaven. At the Pearly Gates St. Peter is there greeting everyone and chatting with them.
St. Peter: Welcome, and tell me, how did you die?
First Fellow: Well, St. Peter, I was homeless, down on my luck, and I had just finished pissing in an alley, when suddenly, Bam! I get crushed by a heavy kitchen appliance.
St. Peter: Oh, that is terrible. But, welcome to Heaven my son.
St. Peter to Dave: Tell me, my son, how did you die?
Dave: Oh, St. Peter, I am a bad person. I thought my wife was having an affair and I saw that homeless guy zipping his pants, and in my rage, well...I shoved our heavy, state-of-the art Samsung refrigerator out the window, killing that guy. I am so sorry. And doing all of that...I had a heart attack and died.
St. Peter, shaking his head: Well, Dave, we think you have learned your lesson. You did a bad thing...but we think there is hope for you yet.
St. Peter to next fellow in line: Tell me, my son, how did you die?
Second Fellow: Well, St. Peter, I was hiding in a big Samsung fridge and some idiot pushed it out a window!