Achievement

[bad_man]

I don't think you can teach ambition or drive. I consider them to be innate qualities that people develop (or not) at varying times in their lives. What I see as the role of parents is to help our children see the long-term implications and and opportunities of situations and decisions available today. I knew early on that I wanted to get a doctoral degree, so I planned ahead as much as possible (took certain high school courses, extra research in college, stayed on top of my grades etc.). Some would call me ambitious or motivated. Without a long-term vision, there is no motivation for drive because there is no particular goal to strive toward. Finding the right goal will make someone driven to achieve it. When they find that goal is the unknown here.

Dirty, if you had known the long term implications of your stated potentials, you might have made different decisions. The best thing my parents did was to encourage me to try things that I initially didn't want to do to give me exposure to things that might identify that goal. They wanted me to achieve more than they did and made sure I looked at the long term implications of the decisions I made growing up.

[Dirtydawg]

I don't think you can teach ambition or drive. I consider them to be innate qualities that people develop (or not) at varying times in their lives. What I see as the role of parents is to help our children see the long-term implications and and opportunities of situations and decisions available today. I knew early on that I wanted to get a doctoral degree, so I planned ahead as much as possible (took certain high school courses, extra research in college, stayed on top of my grades etc.). Some would call me ambitious or motivated. Without a long-term vision, there is no motivation for drive because there is no particular goal to strive toward. Finding the right goal will make someone driven to achieve it. When they find that goal is the unknown here.

Dirty, if you had known the long term implications of your stated potentials, you might have made different decisions. The best thing my parents did was to encourage me to try things that I initially didn't want to do to give me exposure to things that might identify that goal. They wanted me to achieve more than they did and made sure I looked at the long term implications of the decisions I made growing up.

That's where I think environment plays a role. While I'm willing to concede that ambition or drive are innate abilities, without the proper environment (i.e. adult instruction AND example), I believe it's harder to realize that ambition. I submit that all children "know" what they want to be when they grow up. In my example, I was told what needed to be done to excel, but I never witnessed my parents "following their own advice", so it was easier to dismiss. The only sacrifices I saw them make were for others (many times to their own inconvenience or detriment). Also, though she'll deny it, the only one of my siblings that was ever "pushed" to succeed in anything other academics was my older sister who was all district and all state in various sports and played college basketball at a small college up north for a couple of years. This "expectation" came from my mom. The only requirement my twin sister and I had for sports was that we weren't allowed to quit once we started, but that applied to all our activities. Don't get me wrong. We all supported each other's activities by attending, but my older sister was the only one who was "forced" to play. I suspect that is because my mom, who was an all state basketball player before girls were given scholarships, saw herself in my older sister. Wow. Didn't mean for that to sound like a "poor pitiful me" statement. Anyway, just wanted to use that as an example for why I think environment plays a key role. My father was one of the most intelligent people I've ever met, yet he settled for the comfort of a medial job. Of course, most people would consider him to have been a big success because he was well compensated, but I saw him as capable of so much more. It was that example that I followed.

[hoppinmad]

You have to be wired in a special way .....

Yep, I'd go along with that. Ok I'll ask it ... how and when is one wired?

[Guisslapp]

Yep, I'd go along with that. Ok I'll ask it ... how and when is one wired?

It is a continuous, natural process and happens throughout your life.

[dawg80]

The "leadership" quality fascinates me. We have all experienced it...and still do. Like in your youth, say high school, a group of friends, all for one, one for all, EXCEPT there is one in that group that the others defer to when a decision has to be made. Whatever that ONE person decides becomes the decision of the group. There is no election process. Just a "natural" leaning to that "natural born leader." Often, that leader accepts this role with no fanfare and with a hint of self-denial. EXCEPT they want it! They yearn for it! They want to be the leader because it feels right to them. You can all think of situations, because everyone has been, and is, in them.